February 1
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Between a Rock and a Hard Place: How to Get Unstuck When You’re Self-Represented
By Samantha Malloy
February 1, 2024
Are you stuck in the painful space in between high costs with little control on the one side AND complexity and overwhelm on the other?
If it feels like that for you, know that you have a lot of company.
In fact, if you’re like a lot of people facing a court case because of changes in the family, you’re probably feeling overwhelmed and unsure about what to do. It may feel like every choice puts you in a tough place, especially if you've already heard so many horror stories about what separation and divorce can be like.
If you’ve decided to hire a lawyer, you may be worried about. . .
- bringing 2 lawyers trained in court battles into your family and how that will increase the already tense relationship you likely have with your partner.
- losing control over what is said (to your partner, the judge, the other lawyer)
- how you can push your case to the top of the pile if your lawyer is busy
- how you are going to keep up with the monthly bills or even budget for them since they change from month to month
- how to solve the problem that while you want your lawyer to work hard on your case, you know the harder they work, the higher your bills (thanks to hourly billing)
If you’ve decided to represent yourself, you could be feeling. . .
- confused about what the legal terms and paperwork
- overwhelmed by the amount of work when you’re already stretched thin adjusting to your new life
- unsure what steps to take
- afraid that you will miss an important deadline or step
- insecure about talking with the judge
But what if it didn’t have to be this way?
What if your choices went beyond going it alone or taking out a second mortgage?
The good news is you can! It’s called limited scope representation or power-DIY-ing.
By self-representing, you can push back from the hard place of high and uncertain fees. By taking advantage of resources created for self-represented litigants, you can roll back the rock of overwhelm to represent yourself with guidance, knowledge and support.
We recommend the following approach:
1. Get informed.
Before you get started, it helps to get an overview of the process and the law. You can and should do this before you make any decisions about how you’re going to move your situation forward.
We recommend you start with an informational session to learn:
- Your rights
- Your responsibilities
- The process you are going to be going through with the courts, including the steps you have to take and the general parts of your case
There are free resources from the Oregon Judicial Department. You can schedule a consultation with a lawyer that doesn’t commit you to hiring that lawyer.
And of course, we offer our Legal Orientation to cover these topics (either in a live session with an attorney or our on-line course).
Whichever way you go, set aside time (or a consulting session) to get informed about what and how your case will go forward.
2. Set Your Goals.
Once you understand the general process and the rules of the road, it’s time to set your goals. This doesn’t require you to spend any money. Simply outline what would be the best way for your case to end in each legal area of your relationship:
- Parenting (if you have children);
- Property and Debt Division (if you are married or in a domestic partnership);
- Financial Support (Spousal support if you are married; child support if you have children)
- The Legal Status you want: dissolution or legal separation (if married or in a domestic partnership) or a custody/parenting plan (if you have children)
All you need is a pen and paper or a keyboard to start to define what you want your better “after” to look like. Be specific about your goal and need so you don’t get bogged down in tactics.
3. Create a Plan.
After you have gotten a general overview of how court works and set your goals, you are ready to start creating a plan. The first step in court cases is to file your paperwork. You want to make sure that your goals match up with what is possible under the law and likely to be ordered by a judge. Don’t spend time and energy pursuing goals that simply aren’t possible.
4. Gather Documents and Information.
You need basic informational details about your partner, your finances, your children and your property to complete court forms. You can get started by picking up the state packets from your courthouse, or from the Oregon Judicial Department to figure out what information you have to supply in your court documents. If you did an orientation with us, you’ll have a list of documents you need to pull together.
5. Fill, File, and Furnish Your Legal Documents.
After you have your personal and relationship records and information, you’re ready to start preparing your court paperwork which is actually 3 steps:
- Fill in the information you need in the court documents.
- File your court documents
- Furnish your court documents to your partner.
By taking these five steps, you will have your case started and on track. To stay on track, repeat the process. It could look like this.
6. Get Information About the Tools Available Through Court.
Get information about the tools available through court, such as how to get information from/about your partner’s income, how to get information about your children, how to get temporary orders, etc.
Go back to the lawyer your consulted with about the big picture for the smaller parts of your case. Or go back to the Oregon Judicial Department website to research that next step. (We also offer legal consulting.)
7. Figure Out Your Goals for Each Part of Your Case.
Figure out what goals you have for each part of your case – whether that is mediation to reach settlement, a temporary order to give you breathing room or trial preparation to get your case over and done.
8. Create a Plan.
Create a plan that maps those goals onto existing procedures complete with to-do’s and a timeline. (We offer Case Management Coaching that can help you do this. Contact us if you're interested.)
9. Gather Information and Documents.
Gather information and documents you will need for your next step. If you are seeking temporary support or to make sure temporary support is affordable for you to pay, work on your budgets.
10. Fill in, file, and furnish.
Fill in, file and furnish the court documents you need for your step.
Conclusion
The point is that if you break your case down into manageable pieces, map out your steps and get help as you go, you don’t have to be overwhelmed or stuck. And the opposite is true as well: by working through your case yourself, for as long as you can, you may reach a point where you need help, however this article is written for people who really don’t have access to full service representation.
But by getting started on your own, and working in this way, you’re less likely to be blind-sided by fees. You can budget the money you have for the parts of your case that matter most.
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